Someone ship Jack and Tim with me,
ask

It’s 2 in the morning. Dan is scrolling through tumblr while eating maltesers when he hears the doorbell ring. Who could be visiting at this hour? he wonders. He gets up and walks downstairs  to open the door. A man is standing outside the door wearing a trench coat.

"Um, hello?" he raises an eyebrow, wondering why the man kept silent.

From somewhere outside the house a song starts to play. Dan knows that song and his eyes widen in horror as the man starts to sing along.

"Baby, can’t you see?

I’m calling a guy like you should wear a warning

It’s dangerous, I’m fallin’” the man dances along to the song.

Dan backs away, terrified.

"Phil! He found us! Help!"

The man continues to sing the song, opening his trench coat and revealing his naked body.

"There’s no escape
I can’t wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You’re dangerous
I’m lovin’ it”

"PHIL! HELP!" Dan shouts as the man grabs his arms.

Dan stands mortified, as the man continues to dance.

Too high
Can’t come down
Losing my head
Spinning ‘round and ‘round”

Do you feel me now?" the man whispers into Dan’s ear.

Dan faints and drops down onto the floor. The last thing he sees is Phil’s triumphant smirk.

Dan wakes up on the couch. He sees the man, now dressed in a trench coat, and Phil casually drinking tea opposite him. Phil notices Dan moving.

"Check youtube." he says simply.

Dan rushes to his room, opens his macbook and sees a video already open in a tab.  

"Hey guys!" It was Phil he was with the unknown man and right behind them was an unconscious Dan.

"Today I’m here with Manesh who you all remember from Dan’s sexy internet dating video London edition. And he’s going to tell you how I finally get my revenge."

Dan hears the door click open behind it he turns around and sees Phil looking at him with a sinister grin. The familiar song played from his laptop.

"What?" he says the only word he could think of.

"He found us on our radio show. I had to censor so much crotch but it was worth it." Phil says.

Manesh shows up beside Phil.

"I’ve watched all of your videos" he gets ready to take his trenchcoat off again and Dan is too scared to respond. Instead of the previous nakedness, however, he is wearing a Danosaur shirt and tight black jeans.

He sings two lines from the song that from this day on will haunt Dan’s nightmares.

And I love what you do

Don’t you know that you’e toxic?”

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